No. This is not a tribute to Zsa Zsa Gabor. But close. I went to a club in Manhattan today (which will remain nameless so that I don’t get hate mail) for a four-hour planning meeting. This place, embedded surreptitiously within the streets of America’s cultural capitol, is trapped in the 1950’s. Guests are required to wear proper attire. Men must wear ties (no, really — they will dress you in one, if you’re in a pinch). Jackets are required. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were required to be Republican, too. I dodged the question. But I did get into an elevator with a man in a seer sucker suit and saddle bucks. It was awesome! I felt like I walked into a time warp. It was funny … and just a bit terrifying.

I have no other point to this post.

Girl Employed

My daughter is quite good with my iPhone. And a pink backpack. And the hustle and bustle of navigating airports.

They’re calling it a ‘co-payment.’ I’m not kidding. That’s what they’re calling it.

Today, American Airlines announced that it would begin charging for some mileage upgrades. Now, I get it. Times are tough. Fuel prices are high. The airlines are getting squeezed from every angle. I’m actually sympathetic. Carriers like American are saddled with a legacy of labor and operating constraints that don’t change as quickly as our economy. But that doesn’t resolve the foolish marketing approach they have employed.

When you attempt to redeem miles on American for an upgrade, the miles required will be higher and you’ll have to fork over some cash. But American doesn’t call that fee a fee. Instead, they’re branding it as a “co-payment.”

This is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s just insulting. Mileage upgrades are customer rewards, a loyalty incentive. ‘Co-payment’ implies that both parties have some obligation to pay for the service. That’s why insurance companies began using the phrase when they started requiring the insured to share in the cost of routine office visits. Granted, it’s a bit of a stretch there, but the context made sense because the transaction generally involved three parties: the employer, the insurer, and the insured. When co-payments were introduced, it was novel for the insured to have to share in the cost.

I suppose it is novel for the loyalty participant to share in the cost, but it defeats the whole purpose of a loyalty program. I fly a lot. I earn rewards. Sometimes, I wish to redeem those rewards to enjoy the benefits of my loyalty. Apparently, redeeming my gift requires me to share in the cost. I tell you what. For your birthday, I’m going to buy you a cake. I’ll even bring it to you. We’ll sing Happy Birthday and just before you cut the cake, I’m going to ask you for a co-payment to cover a portion of the costs it took for me to purchase and transport the cake. It’s the least you can do in these economic times.

I confess. I’m in love with Sandy. She’s smart. She’s witty. She’s organized. And she just seems to have my every need in mind. I’m smitten. Who is this home-wrecking vixen? Well, she’s a virtual girl Friday. Check her out.

So here’s the short version of the story. I pushed the new iPhone firmware to my jalopy iPhone. Yes, I was one of the early adopters. It was so cool — until I realized it wouldn’t work with my work’s email system. For a year I carried two phones. My iPhone was an amusement — barely functional. But with the latest update, I finally have access to my work email and I started messing around with my sleek little Apple gadget all over. In my discovery process I found Sandy. What a find! You just tell Sandy what you want her to remind you or to remember for future reference. She files it away and brings it up on command. It’s the next best thing to having a personal assistant. Perhaps it’s better — Sandy doesn’t ask for days off or a raise.

People are growing fatigued by brands. I don’t have any empirical data to prove this … just a hunch. Part of it is linked to my travels, where I find the same collection of retail stores in the heart of the city. Part of it is based on the feedback I hear in focus groups and client research. Brands have become ubiquitous, and as a result, people are feeling betrayed. The brands they invest in have not saved them in the hard times. I think I will do a survey to study this. In the meantime, tell me what you think.

Jordan Limelight

I traveled some 10,000 miles to start a novel — roaming through Ireland for inspiration. I was reluctant to write the story I knew I really had to tell. By some weird coincidence, I mentioned the neglected story to a few colleagues, and they went wild. I mentioned the story I’d been writing and they acted respectfully. So … I’m changing course. Can you guess the more exciting story?

It’s the silliest thing. Traveler’s disease. I can’t get Ireland out of my head. It’s there. It probably looms larger than it was. But I think of it - browse through my photos, read my journal, ruminate. It’s kind of in the veins, and not in the poignant, saccharine way. I don’t imagine woolen sages. I think of the grit and the grist and the glorious will of the place. I’m making it more than it is in my mind, but I willingly do so.

Jeanette and I have dropped off the grid and onto Monarch Beach (without kids) for a few days to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. Pretty, charming, smart and downright fun, she’s the reason I haven’t taken to living in a cave, writing a manifesto.

We met a few months after I graduated from USC. I was kind of rudderless at the time, not sure what I wanted to do next and not really minding. I planned to check out for a year and took a job as an usher at the Los Angeles Music Center. Jeanette was a senior usher. She was also a friend of a friend. Between working on “her zone” in one of the center’s various houses, or watching her drink coffee late at night in our circle of friends, something about her struck me. Read the rest of this entry »

The truest source of inspiration emanates from fonts we often overlook. Fifteen years ago today, I stood before a priest with a beautiful young woman who made me want to write and start a family and conquer the world (not necessarily in that order). It was one of the happiest days in my life. Today, she still inspires me — encourages me to do things I don’t have in me, allows me to do the things my wild stream of consciousness suggests, and welcomes me back with a smile that makes me feel home. Happy anniversary, Jeanette.

A band I discovered in Ireland - The Last Shadow Puppets - awesome! Check them out. An interesting collection of rock and I-don’t-know-what. But I can’t stop listening to them. And the album cover! Jeez. I bought the darn thing just because I thought that picture was cool. Good thing the music was, too.